Big Man…Little Car

• In this episode we explore what it’s like to be a “big guy” in a sports car world.

and much, much more!

[00:00:00] Our panel of brake fix petrol heads are back for another rousing. What should I buy debate using unique shopping criteria? They are challenged to find our first time collector the best vehicle that will make their friends go Where do you get that or what the hell is wrong with you at the next cars and coffee?

What’s going on everyone and welcome to another installment of brake fix i’m your host brad aka the triple six with me as always Is our co host eric. Hello But on tonight’s episode, we have a topic that is very near and dear to me. We’re talking about what it’s like to be a big man in a small man’s world, or as we like to say, big guy in a little car.

And to help me out tonight, we have a few special guests that are going to tell us about their experiences being big and or tall in a world designed for people of smaller stature. So without any further delay, let’s go around the horn and have everyone introduce themselves. Your bio, your height, weight, or whatever.

If you’re comfortable, if not, you can just muffle through and what you’re driving now, [00:01:00] why you’re driving it or whatever. So we’ll go ahead and start Andrew, Andrew Mason. Why don’t you go ahead and kick us off? All right. Hey everybody. Um, my name’s Andrew. Stand about six, four. I weighed in this Monday at the doctors at the triple three.

I’ve been a big guy my whole life. And, uh, now I drive a bigger cars. I I’ve always kind of looked at the Miatas and the S2000s and thought, man, that’d be. That’d be nice to drive something nimble and quick like that, but it doesn’t happen. I drive a 16 chevy ss And a factory five roadster. Well, one’s big and one isn’t quite big enough So yeah, and we’re gonna have to talk about the factory five roadster and how you squeeze yourself into it later on in the episode All right No, no All right, so let’s let’s go ahead and have gordon since he chimed in All right, Gordon Bell, six, four, 300 ish.

I’m a 38 inch inseam and I’m, I’m a 48 inch ish hip. [00:02:00] And the rest is torso been as low as two 20 ish. When I got out of school, up and down, back and sideways don’t fit in a lot of things for a volumetrically. Exceeding individual. I’m not that large. I only have 11 and a half feet and my hands are only seven and a half.

So I’m not a, a massively non normative individual. My head’s a, a large, my cool shirt is an XL, which for a 300 pound guy is not a lot. So yeah, I’m, I’m not that guy. And Gordon, to your point, my ring size is a 17. Holy fudge! Dude, that’s like my knee! Yeah, these are all normal size. Presently drive a 2012 CTS V Cadillac, which went from daily driver to kind of track inquisitive, to yeah, we’re gonna do this, to now it’s oh, hell yes, we’re on it, and the car is a total gut, and Yeah, just having a lot of fun.

Tried smaller things. [00:03:00] Most don’t fit. Always thought it’d be so awesome to have that car in that car in the other car. And then I tried them on. It’s like, yeah, that’s not going to work. So I drink heavily and I’m okay with it. Gordon, is it true that you incorporated the walker into the roll cage?

Absolutely. And what you do is when you exit the vehicle, you merely kick the side panel. It folds out and you drop your Old, fat butt into it, and away you go. Is that like the umbrella that comes out of the Rolls Royce stores? You got the Walker? I didn’t know you knew about the umbrella. I’ve incorporated the umbrella.

Ah, nice. Alright, so let’s go over to Jason. Uh, he’s new to GTM and one of Eric’s, uh, long time coworkers. What’s up, Jason? What’s going on? Thanks for having me on. Yeah, so I stand 6 foot 8 and about 285 pounds right now. So, yeah, I like to think of myself as supersized because I’m a 36 inch inseam and I’m like a [00:04:00] 50 extra long right jacket size.

So currently I drive a 2016 LR4. The literally the reason why I bought that car is to fit in it for headroom. I did all types of weird athletic stuff. So I would did Scottish Highland games for a while. And so I was six, eight and I was like pushing three 30 at the time. I was driving an Acura TL and my wife was behind me and she called me and she’s like, this is ridiculous.

Like you look like an elephant on a tuna can. Like, we gotta get you, we gotta get you into something. Monkey humping a football. Yeah. So she’s like, we got to get you something else. So that’s how I wound up in the LR4. It’s not the most efficient vehicle in the world. Fastest thing in the world, but, um, it fits right.

So that’s what I’m driving right now. Nice. Before crutch goes, I think we have Brian young on the line. You just joined us as well. Yeah, I’m here. All right. Um, well I’m Brian young, um, six, four, and I’m just shy of 300 pounds. And right now. I’d drive a Jeep Grand Cherokee and a [00:05:00] 2005, get a TDI, alternate between them.

The Grand Cherokee just because it’s comfortable, and then the TDI just because it’s fuel efficient. Yeah. Man of few words. There’s less oxygen at that height, I hear. Yeah, yeah, there is. And there’s been alcohol introduced, so. Ah, okay. Well, as we get the swing of it, let’s, uh, let’s go back to Mike. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, lastly, we got, uh, Michael Crutchfield. He’s been on the show a few times. Why don’t you tell us about yourself? Well, I’m 6’2 that’s all I’ll say about that. I’m a gentleman of larger stature, but I also only have about a 31 inch inseam. So I’m very tall in the torso too, which in itself presents its own problem.

My current track toy is actually a Beetle Turbo S, a 2003 Beetle Turbo S. Cause it mostly, cause it has more headroom than a, uh, than a GTI. We’ll get into some of the interesting stories I’ve had on track being an instructor in, uh, small cars. So. One [00:06:00] organizer in particular who gave, who was very amused after he saw me climb out of my student’s car the first time.

And lastly, I’m Brad, your host. I stand at 6’4 I’m about 325 as of this morning. My track car is a GTI. I’ve instructed a Miata and I’ve driven a Lotus Elise. You know, those are fun. My head sticks up clear above the windscreen there. Um, but yeah, that’s it. That’s me. So Andrew, how do you squeeze yourself into that roadster?

And why do you have the roadster? I have the roadster. My dad and I built it, got the kit back in. 2011. Got it fully road legal and painted by 16. Dad’s about 5’10 You know, not svelte or anything, but it was a difference. Um, but he, he always wanted to build it. We, he was talking about this from the time factory five started in the mid nineties.

Like in high school, I was test driving Fox body Mustangs. Cause he was looking at it like a donor car. I fit in it by basically bolting the seat to the floor. Like I still have the seats that came with a nice thick bolster. Those are gone. I got some, um, Kirky [00:07:00] buckets with like, you know, half inch of vinyl on them and uh, that’s bolted directly to the floor pan and doing that to kind of comment on like follow up on Mike said about inseam versus torso.

I’m six four. I have a, I wear pants in like a 32 inseam. I can sit in that Cobra cause I can get my relatively shorter legs under the dash. Brad can’t fit in it for shit. I mean, he can’t do it at all. I’ve got a 34 I’m right at the cusp of the big and tall store. When we first built that thing, we had some nice, like adjustable seat brackets for moving it back and forth.

We thought we’d use those. We had the seats that came with it. And I was literally like Brad said about that Lotus, like the top of the windshield was about at my nose. So like I was getting bugs in the face, driving it. First we replaced the seats and that was better. And finally, we just bolted the seat to the floor and dad could drive it that way.

And that’s just kind of how we left it. So, uh, dad passed in February and I inherited it along with his pickup and now it’s Hyundai. So I got like six cars in the driveway. It’s getting a little mad. I’ve taken an auto crossing once. That was really fun. Definitely want to get some stickier tires on it and try that.[00:08:00]

I definitely want to see. What might be able to be done, maybe a taller roll bar in the back, something to help me pass that broomstick test that maybe it could get on track. We’ll see. I did think of something while we were talking, because you’re talking about cars we’ve had, right? Yeah. I started out, my first car was the 1989 Thunderbird SC.

So that was, that was a fun car. SC stands for super cool people. That’s a supercharged V6. It’s a whole lot of torque and high speed. Super chicken. It works, man. But, um, for a while there, what, two or three years, Brad and I both had 4th gen F bodies. Both had Camaros. And the other guy we used to hang around with, he had a 4th gen Camaro too.

And he was 6’7 And so, we either rolled three deep to get somewhere, or it was three big guys, and one of us had to be Right in the back and the little like where, where the bench seat in the back wasn’t a bench, it’s just two little cushion buckets on either side of the transmission of the, uh, driveshaft tunnel.

And I always ended up being in the backseat somehow. The only time I was in that backseat a few times, come on, I was practically spread Eagle, but you, you put one [00:09:00] foot in the, uh, behind the driver and you sit kind of over behind the passenger. Yeah, it was, it was roughly basically, basically, what about you, Jason?

So you got the LR four. What, what other vehicles have you had in the past? And I’m assuming at your height, you’ve always got trouble finding something to drive. Yeah, so it’s a, it’s a crazy story, right? So my dad for 40 years, he owned an auto repair shop. So we were constantly like passing cars in and out.

Like stuff would come in, we’d buy it, fix it up, turn it, sell it. So I’ve driven some really cool stuff. Like I had a Toyota Land Cruiser, like the FJ type. I had an old one of those when I was in high school. Two of the weirder ones that I’ve had in my time, for about three weeks, I was driving a Maserati Biturbo, like one of the old like 80s ones.

And my dad caught me driving about 90 past him on the highway. So that ended that the car that I had probably the longest that like fits in with the group more. So I had a, uh, it wasn’t a cabriolet. I can’t call it a cabriolet. I can’t stomach it in my heart, but it was, uh, it was the rabbit convertible before it was a cabriolet and a guy had totaled a GTI, like an 88 GTI.

So we [00:10:00] completely Franken car that thing. And we put like, you know, new speed Springs and built shocks. And like, we completely like reconfigured that car and people looked at it and they’re just like, it’s. Come on, man. That’s that’s a cabriolet. And then that thing would run like a freaking mouse on cocaine.

I mean it would just go and It was awesome. It was fun That ended up getting taken away from me when I went to college because my dad was pretty firmly convinced that I would kill myself So that got swapped for like a Volvo 240 wagon. That was like turd Brown the ladies the jalopnik special Yeah, dude, the ladies love that thing.

Not, not really. So, so yeah, that’s what I’ve kind of driven. I’ve been dying to kind of get in with Eric and get out on the track and do some stuff, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten broader. I haven’t gotten smaller. And so like, I literally have to go try on cars now. Yeah. So, so that brings up an interesting point, you know, having to shop and try on cars.

I know Gordon, you’ve probably looked at a lot of cars before you settled on the CTSV. [00:11:00] I want you to tell us a little bit about how you found that that car was the one that you were able to fit in. Yeah. So back in the day, went into practice in 1990, started making a few bucks. And the first cool car I had was an Oldsmobile Toronado Trofeo 1995 with the North star engine, I mean, a 12 foot hood, you know, cab four design, little tiny interior, but the car was spacious.

Traded that in and bought a, an Audi, Eric Audi TT, baby. What? Oh, hold you. You had a TT at the time. So I graduated dental school at 212 pounds. Okay. As opposed to the 300 thre am So 2, 2 20 ish. The cool thing about the early TTS was on the console there was a little triangular brace. It was bolted to the sides.

I took the driver’s side off and I could lean my leg into the console a little bit. Those cars are volumetrically efficient. Really good cars. I had plenty of room plenty of room The fun [00:12:00] part was watching people watch me get out of the car I get out people be like how did that big son of a bitch get out of that little tiny car?

And you’d see them sort of doing the mental math like how the hell did that happen? And that was the very first car I ever took to the track 1995 Summit Point, Maine, you know, and I’m like my buddy had a Porsche 930. We both drove our little red cars as the wives say away from the houses went on our little boy’s weekend And I was hooked and I did it for four or five years and then practice got busy and fast forward so Prior to the Cadillac.

I had a CLS 63 AMG Mercedes, which is a spectacular automobile It’s not a track car, but it’s a really nice car. And so coming out, I’ve always leased my cars. It’s one of the few things that the IRS still allows corporate entities to do is write off some of this stuff. So wrote off the CLS. Now I’m into something else.

And the CTSV comes out. [00:13:00] I’m like, Oh, daddy wants one of those. I mean, who doesn’t want a 550 horsepower GM monster drove it as my daily for three and realized This is kind of a fun car and then started thinking about getting back to tracking so it’s an 11 I got back to tracking at about uh, 14 15 Bought it off lease.

So I leased it for three years and then bought it off lease Which is a very bad decision from a financial standpoint But it made sense for me because there was nothing else at the time that I really was in love with I mean e63 amg mercedes hundred thousand dollar car m5 hundred thousand dollar car ctsv 69, 000 car bought off lease thirty eight thousand dollars So let’s buy this pig and see what we can do.

So I bought it and immediately realized it was a really bad track car. So let’s just start Frank and caddying the car. And so every system in the car gets reworked and Cadillac figured that out. [00:14:00] Cause then the ATSV and then the, the gen three CTSV were great cars. But the gen 2 ctsv was just a car that a bunch of guys in detroit sat around smoking a doobie on a friday night And decided to put a big engine in a small car and be like, hey, dude, it’s awesome The car blows on the track.

There’s not a system in the car You don’t have to rework but I fit so I instruct and i’ve gotten in other cars. So my problem always is Bottom of dash console steering wheel. I don’t fit in anything head, not so much a problem. Legs. I’m not a bendy guy. Sorry, I don’t fold up. So the CTS has been my thing.

And the first couple years were development. Can it do better? Can it do better? Yes, it can. Okay, let’s go to the next step. Let’s go next step. So this winter full gut. Car is absolutely a whole new thing. You guys have never seen It turns out I was driving a seven cylinder car for a while because my number one cylinder was absolutely The spark plug the electrode was gone.

The spark plug [00:15:00] was finger tight. So you guys will see a whole new thing this season So brian, let’s just step back for one second because you owned a mazda speed three And I know that was a car that you enjoyed. How was the fitment in that for somebody of your height? So the Mach Z Speed 3, surprisingly, I fit very well.

If you want me to go into the details of it a little bit, it was fully bolted and tuned. It had around 400 horsepower, but it, it was a really fun car to drive. The only problems I have usually getting out of, is getting out of cars, because my seat is usually back behind the pillar. So I have to like, swing my legs out and then kind of like, stand up out of the car.

And my wife used to hate when I’d have a pocket knife on my right pocket, cause that’s where I carry it because I would chew the steering wheel up. Because I’d swing my hips and my hip would hit the steering wheel every single time, without fail. And to this day, it still does it in just about everything I drive.

So, when I drive her WRX, I don’t put the pocket knife in my pocket. And, uh, I feel really bad for that rental car that I just had, that Charger that I just had out in [00:16:00] Colorado a couple weeks ago, because I tore the steering wheel up pretty bad. Laughter. Yeah, it’s always the swing out. I mean, stepping down out of the Jeep is fine, but stepping up and out of a car for me is what, you know, my hip usually hits the steering wheel just about every time.

I feel you. So I got a question for both Mike and Gordon, since I know Mike just did this, you know, what he did a couple years ago with the BMW and Gordon, you just did this, finding safety gear like the Hans and the Simpson hybrid and seats and stuff like that. How hard is that for, for bigger guys like us?

I don’t sit in my seat so much as on my seat. How many seats did you try out before you were able to find one you found you that fit? So I started with a sports seat that omp had because it didn’t have much bolstering, but it was also a reclinable one So it’s not Ideal for, for most situations. I actually just had to go down to OG and just say, find me your widest seat.

I could have gone the Kirky route. You [00:17:00] can even get Kirky to custom, make you a seat, build the seat to your measurements if you really want. But I wanted something a little more comfortable than that. Just sitting on a sheet of aluminum. So I just, I went down to OG and said, bring out all your widest seats and just went one by one through the seats they had until I found one I was happy with, which is what is now in the, uh, In the bug.

The BMW that’s out front still has the, uh, recliner sports seats. I did exactly the same thing. I went to OG and Matt and the guys brought out a bunch of stuff, tried things on, and most seats top out at 19 to 20 inches. On the base width, I’ve got the race tax out of, uh, New Zealand, which are 21 and a half inches base width.

It’s a very nice compliance snug fit. It’s not tight. It’s not loose. I didn’t realize how much I was banging my knees against the door in the console, trying to stabilize the seat with harnesses transformed the way I use that car. And I’m, as you said earlier, I’m, I’m mounted on the [00:18:00] floor. I’m. three quarters of an inch off the floor with my seats and I’ve got an inch and a half of headroom.

Nobody else can see out of the car in the passenger seat You know, I carry with me Brad you can see through and confirm. I feel like a six year old when I run It is so comfortable in the passenger seat at ctsv. I it’s like sitting in a like a luxury liner It’s amazing. So getting a seat that fits properly is is critical Key, I would like to have a little bit of partial enclosure and I may try and fabricate You know a partial halo because race tech doesn’t make a halo attachment for that But you know at the end of the day, it’s far better than what I had and the six point harnesses Just you know, I feel locked in and I feel compliant and it totally transformed the way I managed the car Whose harnesses are you using, Gordon?

Just out of curiosity. Honestly, I can’t answer that. Um, I think they’re Scroth, but I’m [00:19:00] not sure. I got them from Piper Motorsports, who did the cage in the car, and they worked with OG to, to source those, but I, I’m not sure. I should know that and I don’t You’ve got the Simpson Hybrid. I do. Yeah. And so I saw a post you put out, you know, when we were talking about this, this webinar, I have the largest hybrid available.

Yeah, I do too. And it sort of fits like a, a 13 year old’s bra on a 28-year-old well endowed woman. You know, it’s, it, it rides up. The only good part about the hybrid is it has those secondary clips that you can thread through the lap belts, because without that it would probably be up around my neck and I would asphyxiate myself.

Somebody needs to figure out that not everybody is a 5’8 170 pound man. Is there anybody out there listening? Please, you know, write this down. Not everybody is 5’8 170 pounds. What about you, Crutch? Do you have one? Do you have a head and neck restraint? No, I probably should but which one would you go with you think it’s not that [00:20:00] valuable just saying It’s what’s inside that’s valuable, you know Some people will probably be happy if some of the story time with quick stories just left my brain but I mean I would have to get a hybrid because the The bug’s still running three points and you know, with student cars, it’s unpredictable, but as a taller, larger gentleman getting in student cars, I’m often in a seating position.

That’s suboptimal just in general. Cause of recline. Yeah. Practically laying down, but can still see over the dashboard. Yeah. I’ll probably get more neck compression than, than, uh, basal skull fracture. So Jason, you said that you’re looking to get something, you’re thinking about getting into like motor sports and like track days and stuff like that.

Yeah. Yeah, so like, I’ve always had like a, like an interest in it, but like, obviously talking to Eric, it like lit the flame to the gasoline, right? That’s what he did to me. So I’m super interested in it, but I mean, I think what’s. Really helpful. Like being the new guy, like not the, not the guy that’s into racing, but the guy that wants to get into racing, like looking [00:21:00] at some of the information that’s out there that you guys have on your website and like some of the podcasts, right, like what to drive.

Like some, there’s some aha moments out there that hit me that are like, well, I never thought about that because you, you made a comment in one of the earlier podcasts about like what to drive. And you’re like, yeah, but when I have my helmet on, I have no headroom. And I’m like, Son of a bitch. What’s going to happen to me when I put, cause I’ve got a big old bucket head.

Right. I mean, I think the helmet I’m going to have is going to be like a modified Home Depot bucket with like a hole cut in the front. Like, so I think he allows those. So like, how the hell am I going to drive with something on my noggin? Like, to me, that was an aha moment. Like I hadn’t even thought about never having gotten behind the wheel of a race car with the proper safety equipment and stuff like that.

So now it completely like. revamps what I get to think about and what I could possibly think about and like change the conversation for what I could drive. For you, I will say cars that do not come factory with a sunroof usually have a little bit more, you know, headroom because they didn’t have to put in the mechanics for the sunroof there.

So what are [00:22:00] some of the cars that you’re, you’re thinking about or considering or would you consider? It’s interesting, right? The whole perspective has changed over the last little bit, right? So I never considered driving something American, right? I always thought about like the GTI route or the Jetta route and that’s probably going to be more difficult, right?

So looking at things like a Mustang, right? And that completely changed the dynamic of like what I would do. The answer is, I don’t have a damn clue. Like, I guess the best thing for me to do honestly, is to go out to a track day, throw a helmet on my head, climb and ask if I can just sit in somebody’s car really quick and see what fits, what feels natural, what feels good.

Right. Just take it out there. Cause I mean, bluntly in my personal life, that’s what I have to do. Like I looked, I looked at a Yukon, right. And. That didn’t work for me. Right. And it just didn’t, the proportions didn’t work out for me, especially when I put my daughter in the back seat, who’s behind me, like things just didn’t fit.

So for me, that’s kind of like a natural thing to like have the mentality that I have to try on cars, like their shoes, right? This isn’t too narrow. This is too short. Like this [00:23:00] doesn’t feel right. Like, I think that’s what I’m going to end up having to do before I make an investment in a vehicle. Like I’m probably just gonna have to come out to the track and.

Make some friends and try their cars out, see what I can do and take it from there. I will say that if GTI is something that interests you, everything got larger until the Mark V and then started getting smaller again. So 2006 to 2010 GTI, I think it’s 2010 is when it cuts off. Is, uh, much more headroom than anything before or after it.

Because I used to have a Mark 5, I have a Mark 4, but I have a bug instead. And I drove a Mark 7 in, uh, Australia, and it was much more snug than my Mark 5 was. Right on. Yeah, I mean, it’s solid advice. Like, I’ll take any advice I can get right now just to, you know, steer me down the right path. I mean, you could always do the high tower thing and like, take the front seats out and sit in the back.

Just take a helmet with you when you go to test drive, show up at the dealership with a helmet and just like, I’m here to test drive this car.[00:24:00]

So back in the day, I was an auto mechanic for awhile and I worked for a franchise that dealt strictly in imports. So I have physically put myself in an MGA and an MGB. Now that being said, my ass was on the top of the seat and my head was two feet above the windshield. And it was simply to move the vehicle in and out of the garage bay.

But I agree. Absolutely. Jason, what’s going to happen is you’re going to have to try on stuff. Cause the defining moment for me was probably 93 to 95, been in practice for a few years, making a few bucks, I’m going to go buy me the car. And. Driving past the one place near me. They had a rotisserie or steel restored, um series three jaguar xke car.

I’ve Fascinated about my entire life I could not fit my skinny long ass in that car If you held a gun to my wife’s head and they had four or five other cars there that I tried on [00:25:00] None of which did I fit in I walked out of there demoralized Dejected pissed off and that’s what you’re going to deal with.

I mean, there are so many cars. I I Guy that I ran into had a bakani huayra. I could not even physically get to him Even close into the vehicle. Not that i’d ever be baller enough to own a car like that But that being said you don’t fit people like us don’t fit these things. It’s fun to think about it It’s like looking at supermodel while you’re making me doing other things, you know And I have to say too sometimes it’s weird things that like don’t fit in cars, right?

So like now for a mayo spider like I can get into it But the steering wheel is so freaking big in that thing that I can’t actually mash the clutch because my knee gets stuck between the door handle and the steering wheel. Like I can’t actually get my left leg working. So it’s all these like little weird nuances sometimes that come along with.

Being, you know, a tall person that I got money that all of you have no [00:26:00] problem. Heel towing, pretty much any car that’s out there. Sometimes I do it by, by mistake. Yeah, I just hit both pedals at once. I don’t hit, I don’t two, I hit three. Don’t heel to. Well, I was gonna say, well one, I don’t hit, I don’t heel toe.

I hit all three at once. Cause I have a 13 4 E foot. Damn! Clopper foot! Uh, I have, like, I have actually had trouble with my, my throttle foot catching the brake pedal on the way up. Because my feet are so hot! In the 80s, they called that unintended acceleration. I think Toyota was sued for something like that.

To Jason’s point, I mean, I have a similar story. Like I was at a car show in College Park and I had the opportunity to drive. It was a 2001 Dodge Viper GTS. The guy just handed me the keys and I was like, I was, I was [00:27:00] like drooling over this car all day. And it’s like, the guy said, hand me the keys and said, here, go have fun.

I got in the car. I let the clutch out to get it moving in first gear, and then that was it. I couldn’t do anything else. I was stuck. So I had to you know, limp it around the parking lot a little bit, got it back in the parking spot, and it was like, I just, I can’t drive your car because I can’t, I can’t shift, the steering wheel’s too big.

I’m in the door panel, it’s just, it’s. I don’t know why they don’t design. Why don’t they design cars for us? What the hell’s wrong with them? So I was at pit race with chin motorsports last fall and there was a a viper club there There was like 75 vipers And the guy that built a lot of these vipers out of ohio was there And I expressed the desire to have a viper because I think they’re just banging cars.

I’ve always loved that car He said well we can totally get you in a viper It’s like I don’t think you can he said well, we’ve got a guy here like you so a gentleman of our stature Horizontally, but not vertically. So he said I guarantee you can get in john’s car [00:28:00] So we go get in john’s car and my effing knees are up above the steering wheel.

They can’t get under he goes I’ve never seen anybody couldn’t get in a viper. He goes. Well, we can stretch one for you It’s like you can do what he said. Yeah, we have all the bucks. We have the molds we can stretch one We can add, you know a couple inches behind the driver’s door like all right Will you do the math on that for me?

Would you please? So he calls me or he sends me an email. He goes. Well, we have an acrx donor car It’s 105 000 and we can stretch it for 75 000 dude. Do I look like bill gates son? I mean what the hell i’m gonna spend 180 on a toy Nobody fits in the if you’re above six foot, you don’t fit in those damn cars Why the hell does no one get that?

Yeah, and and uh, I always had people tell me because I used to lust after the viper as well And they say well hulk hogan had a viper. You can fit you’re not bigger than him. Uh, yeah, I am [00:29:00] He was a short little dude. I was in a viper once in the passenger seat. I was I was smaller than And it was a first gen, so the seatbelt is on the wrong side.

I get in the car and I go to reach over my right shoulder, like, wait, where’s the, but I didn’t have a helmet on. And getting out of that thing was comical. Because it’s not, you don’t climb out of a Viper, you just kind of like roll out of a Viper. And it had a hard time, so I couldn’t go up. Are you sure it wasn’t a Shelby Durango GTS with the same paint job?

Oh god, those things are horrible. But no, it was a Viper at the Helmets off the Heroes or something like that Oh, yeah, I was I was thinking about 13 triple quad E feet. Um Like on my roadster, it’s it was I mean you should look at who designed it Dave Smith the president of factory five He’s like five eight looks like he works out every morning, but he’s he’s just a real compact guy and between that and You The choice that we made building it to go with a dual overhead cam modular Ford, instead of a small block, which is [00:30:00] like an extra foot wide.

And you look at like a normal shoe, like, you know, your, your standard issue, suburban new balances, they get wider as they go down. So your footprint’s bigger. I’ve gotten to the point where I have like size 11, like two sizes smaller, like Adidas soccer shoes. I’ll wear those. I’ve worn, I’ve tried wrestling shoes.

I got to the point now I just drive a barefoot. Cause that’s the only way I can avoid, you know, getting the clutch in the break at the same time. You just got to figure out what works. Yeah. Just like I got my brother in law is like five, two or something. He’s like, I’ll never play in the NBA. And you can’t, you know, I can’t help that.

And that’s the truth for big guys like us. Like some things are just not going to work. If size was no object, like size was not a concern and money was no object. What would your car be? What, what would you, what is your dream car? Two or three of them. If you had a three car garage. And you could have anything you wanted.

What would it be? And then to add to that, size is an object and it is something you got to think about. What is your next vehicle? The next 1, you’re lasting after for your [00:31:00] current size. I’ll go with that because I’ve thought through this at length. So, I mean, the wish list is. A Koenigsegg Regera RS plus one second place would be again a Pagani Huayra or anything Pagani’s made because it’s just so retro.

As a pilot, I love the switch gear in the Pagani’s. It just, it harkens back to a prior age that the cars are just spectacularly detailed. What might I be in next? Would probably be if I can probably a an sl mercedes A couple years off sl mercedes 550. They’ve depreciated the hell out of themselves. I mean you can buy a 150 000 at list mercedes now five years later for 30 grand.

I think that’s a spectacular value I’ve always wanted a hard top convertible I fit I tried a patient’s car on the other day and I actually fit in the car. So I’m like, daddy’s getting an SL. So as soon as my [00:32:00] garage is built, I will have an SL. So what would I drive? I’d love to get my hands on like a Lotus Evora.

I’ve always thought they’re kind of slick looking rides, you know, well balanced. I think something like that would be fun. I’ve always been a fan of English cars. So like one of the new F types, but I don’t know that I want to get behind the wheel of one of the, uh, one of the V8s. I’ve actually heard that there’s too much muscle with them.

So something like that would be really cool. Cool. Maybe an Aston Martin. I don’t know. I’ve actually sat in one of the new kind of newer Aston Martin vantages and I actually can fit into one, you know, they brag about them being a comfortable kind of touring car for me. I don’t know if that’s the case, but I think it, I think I do fit in it.

Like it’s, it’s a drivable car. So that’s kind of the route I would take if like I could have like that side of it for what actually fits me and fits comfortably and fits my family. Cause my wife is and I’ve got two daughters that are super tall as well. Like my, my My daughter going into seventh grade is on this five foot 11.

So like the Range Rover long bodies, like the, like the really long ones, those are pretty slick. I like those a lot. I [00:33:00] actually like that, like the eight L’s as well. Those have a ton of room in them. Those are super nice cars, in my opinion, like those, but don’t like the price tag that rolls with them. So if somebody else is paying for it, I’d pick one of those two to be my, my everyday ride.

So Jason, if I see you guys walking through the mall, is it like watching people from Avatar, you know, strolling through the mall? Yeah, so my so I played basketball in college at a small school in Virginia and my wife She actually played volleyball at University of Maryland So like I am by far not the best athlete in my house And from the way things are trending my daughters are probably going to be way better athletes than me So it’s cool.

It’s pretty wild to see like people definitely People definitely look at us when we walk into the place. Yeah. My, my wife is six three as well. And she’s, uh, she’s the best athlete in the house as well. She was a state champion basketball player in high school. So I feel you on that one. Here’s the deal.

If you saw the Ferguson family photograph, you know, the, the Christmas card or whatever, they would look normal. They’re all proportionate to each other. Truth to that. It is [00:34:00] true. If I could actually fit, I would love a Corvette. My stepdad had a 78. 25th anniversary, two tone silver, white leather interiors, beautiful car.

I was never allowed to touch it, but it was a beautiful car. And I’ve just, I’ve always, I’ve always liked Corvettes, but, uh, I’m never going to fit in one. Nick insisted I could, I could fit in his and try and sit in the passenger seat. And I’m like, my knees hit the dashboard before they can go under the dashboard.

So it just, it does, it doesn’t work. I mean, right now, everything I drive is, you know, besides the truck is, is German because they, they tend to build for us, taller folks are 2012 facades getting up there miles. And, uh, we’re looking for something that we can replace that with, but it’s probably going to end up being something like another facade, because as much as I love it, they stopped making the Magnum and I want something newer.

And then, because the Magnum is a wonderful car for, for a larger person who wants something, uh, especially if you have any, anything to haul around with you. I found that to be true [00:35:00] of a lot of the newer Chryslers. The Charger and the Challenger. Challenger especially is deceivingly large inside. Oh yeah, I mean, it’s large on the outside too.

I mean, I’ve been, I’ve been on track and I mean, I’ve been, I’ve been in Challengers, Chargers, and a Magnum on track, instructing. And I mean, they’re, they’re huge cars, but I like having the extra storage that a wagon affords. That’s, and if, you know, Volkswagen actually would give us a decent wagon, I’d love to buy one.

Especially that Arteon Shooting Brake, but you know, we’re, we’re not worthy. But I’m not a big crossover person. So it’s, it sucks for me and everyone’s killing sedans and all the econo boxes are too small now. So yeah, it’s a probably gonna end up being another facade or maybe a slightly used facade GT with the VR six.

And one thing I can say about the Corvette, I’m sorry. Uh, sorry, Gordon, I fit in the Lotus because the hips are low. So like my, my 52 inch, you know, chest and shoulders. I have some place to put them. I’ve got air around me. When I sat in Andrew Banks [00:36:00] Corvette, like the, it comes up and it kind of curves over.

The B pillar goes right into my shoulder and I can’t do anything with it. So I feel you on the Corvette. It’d be nice to have like a C6 or a C7, but. It’s not in the cards. You rode in chivalry c6 with me at ncm and it was a tight fit even in that car Which is much larger inside than the seven. I was uncomfortable in the c6 Actually, i’ve never been comfortable in the c6.

They’re really cramped actually c6 I can actually fit in I could possibly drive one in partial anger C7 forget about it never gonna happen And one of the guys in the corvette club just got his c8 and I tried it on And i’m very glad I did because I don’t have to think about that car anymore You Spectacular automobile.

Gordo doesn’t fit. But it’s going back to Mike’s comment on the the wagon. I worked with a guy, coached him at Pocono in an AMG wagon. Holy hell. That car was stupid fast. I mean [00:37:00] balanced. It’s a lot like the CTS V wagon. Very neutral. The handling was spectacular. The power was spot on. That car was da nuts.

It was amazing. Again, a hundred plus thousand dollar car, but goddamn, if you want a wagon you can just take and go crazy with. Get you one of them. I don’t have the imagination for the, you know, hyper cars and stuff like that. And, and I, if I could make something fit at any cost, it would probably be on the Corvette track.

It’d probably be the ZR1. It’d be one of those, you know, that’s a garage queen in my mind, dropping half that equation, saying that size is. Important, but the money’s not an object. I guess I’ve always loved the idea of some of the, uh, pro touring mod, like, or like mid sixties, a bodies, um, Dodge darts, like smaller, smaller muscle cars, like economy cars from back in the day with a, with a blank slate, or I should say a blank check, well, big engine, lots [00:38:00] of turbos, lots of LS, but the more upright, like my first and only track day in my, my Chevy SS, which is a big sedan in itself.

And I fit in it driving around so well, I love it. I just need an LSA like you, Gordon, but as soon as I put my helmet on, so I’m like doing a half a sit up through 20 minutes track session. It was miserable every month or so I go out there and I stare under the seat looking for some for an inch or something to cut out, but it didn’t there.

So I like the idea of more of an older body line with more of a vertical windshield with a higher head, right. Where I could have a nice, you know, upright scene position, whatever I wanted, but just like, especially as far as what I would build with unlimited funds, it would, it would have two seats in it.

And, and, and that’s it, but, but having that blank slate for all the power, all the suspension, all the safety without any of the confines of, uh, you know, all those wonderfully aerodynamic shapes we enjoy today. Yeah. And honestly, with that said, most of us have taken whatever it is we have, and we’ve engineered it to whatever specification we want, we’ve [00:39:00] taken what we’ve gotten, made it better.

And that’s really, I mean, people have asked me repeatedly, why the F are you driving a Cadillac? Because it fits and because I can. And if you’re willing to put the time in, there’s no piece of sheet metal that you can’t engineer to whatever it is you want it to do. And I’m finally getting to the point where the Cadillac is kind of, sort of, maybe, possibly, perhaps, what I’ve always imagined it could be.

It’s never going to be a Ferrari Performante. It’s not going to be any of these other hypercars. But it’s still not a bad ride for not a shit ton of money. And it’s a unicorn. And a unicorn’s kind of fun to drive. So, why not? I thought you drove it because it fit in at the retirement home. Tall. He can put his golf clubs in the back.

That’s right. And my, my Walker folds up behind the seat. You can clown on me if you want to, but I’ve always been a fan of the Nissan [00:40:00] GTRs. I saw one at an auto show a while back, went to get in it. I got in it, but it was hard for me to get out of. And I was actually smaller. I was smaller back then, you know, weight wise, I was probably like 250 or so.

Like, my legs were cramping up trying to get out of it. So, I’ve always wanted one of those, but that would be one of them. Another thing is a Buick GMX. I mean, I was born in the 80s. I fell in love with that G body. Body style, the long nose, you know, coupe basically with a big engine in it, but the GM X for whatever reason stood out.

I mean, it’s, it was the only turbo car from the eighties that I actually like fell in love with, um, aside, well, the minor Carlo SS isn’t. Exactly a G and X, but that’s my second favorite. Um, and then lastly, if money were no object, no limit whatsoever, I would have a Kona SAG, a Garrel RS. They are just [00:41:00] absolutely gorgeous to me.

And honestly, I probably wouldn’t even drive it. I’d, I’d, you know, Say, hey Eric, can you drive that for me? Because I can’t sit in it. Show me what it can do. I have achieved baller status, don’t need to go any further. Yep. Someone can drive me to the track and I’ll watch my car drive. I am totally okay with this arrangement.

Whenever you’re ready, sign me up. Yeah, but those are, those three cars are, you know, If I had unlimited money, it would be a built version of the first two. So the Nissan and the Buick, and then obviously, like I said, I probably wouldn’t even touch the Koenigsegg. It just sit there and I’d just admire it for what it is.

Uh, and I guess I’ll go ahead and throw my, my stuff out there. If money was no object and height was no object, I’d love a C7R. You know, they’re decommissioned now, so you can probably pick 1 up for peanuts. And I say peanuts, like, you know, what, 500, 000 dollars or something, whatever the factory Shelly is selling those for.

Also, I’ve always [00:42:00] been fascinated with the Shelby Daytona coupes. I think those cars are beautiful cars there. And I know factory 5 makes a replica version of 1. I can’t even fit my, my right foot in it, let alone my entire body. You know, you remember that trip, Brad? You remember that trip to the kid car show, like 12 years ago, we were getting in trouble for sitting in all those cars, like, without even asking, but yeah, you could get in, but you can’t get out.

Yeah, exactly. And when I drove, uh, Andrew Banks Lotus, I mean, the only reason I was able to get in is because the roof was off, and I literally just stepped and lowered myself into it like I was on an elevator. And then I would also like a 911, like a 911 Carrera 4S or something like that. Those I think are just great cars.

And Mike touched on something in one of the earlier podcasts that I hadn’t even thought about and I don’t even know. But an Audi R8 is a beautiful car as well. So I think those would be my choices. And so we’re going to go around the horn one more time. And just to close us out, I want to hear your thoughts.

Your [00:43:00] funniest or most embarrassing or most exciting big guy little car story. Just anything that has to do with you being a big guy climbing into out of a little car. Jason, Eric has told me that you’ve got plenty of stories. So let’s go ahead and hear one of your gems. Yeah, I’ll give you, I’ll give you one that’s a little bit longer than one that’s super fast.

So I flew out to a big conference out in San Francisco and made the cardinal sin of laying over in Chicago and I ended up having like a six hour delay, seven hour delay. So I roll into SFO and go to pick up my rental car because I had to go back and forth between San Francisco and Santa Clara for some customer meetings.

And I roll up to the Hertz counter and it’s like one o’clock in the morning West Coast times. It’s like 4am East Coast and the guy’s like, we’ve only got two cars left. And he was like, I can give you a discount and charge you 350 a day for the Escalade or you can take the Fiat 500. And I’m like, you gotta be kidding me, dude.

Call the manager. And they’re like, I, [00:44:00] and they’re like, this is what we got, right? You can either take the Fiat or you can pay three 50 a day. And I didn’t think my company was going to be real jazzed about me paying, you know, for the week for an Escalade. So, I take the Fiat, right? And literally, like, there’s, and I’m not lying to you, there’s barely enough room for me and my bag for the week to get into this vehicle.

So, like, I’m riding it and my head’s cocked all the way over, like, my right shoulder so I can, like, squeeze into it. And you know, it’s driving in San Francisco is bad enough. So I get to the hotel and the woman who works the front desk is like smoking a cigarette out front. Cause it’s like two o’clock in the morning.

And she’s like, Oh my God, I can’t see through the car. She’s like, you literally take up the entire car. Like, thanks. Thanks lady. Appreciate it. Yeah. So I spent the entire week running up between San Francisco and Santa Clara and that thing. And I literally thought I was going to die. Everyone that saw me is like, dude, that looks, Ridiculous.

Like that’s, it’s awful. That’s [00:45:00] one of the good ones. Second one is I was out with a bunch of buddies and one of my friends had a couple of too many drinks out at a bar in Baltimore and he’s got a Mercedes SLK. And you know, I, I hadn’t had enough to drink to where I couldn’t drive. So I was like, I’ll, I’ll drive your car home.

So he put the top down and it took us about three seconds to figure out there wasn’t a chance in hell that I was going to be able to drive that vehicle. Like I started to slide down and like literally my shoulders were above The windshield like I mean it was like it wasn’t like my head was above it It was like my entire shoulders and everything It looked like a go kart and we’re like who’s calling the cab?

Like that’s it We’re like we’re leaving the car here if it gets stolen. Sorry, but yeah, I gotta ditch it So that’s that’s two two of my good ones. They are really good ones. I love the fiat 500 I would drive one if I could fit my head under the under the roof line I need to follow that because one of my stories involves a fiat 500 as well You

I’d never [00:46:00] coached with hooked on driving Southern States before. And Chivley and I are going down to a event at Roebling and Chivley goes way back with Dave Auer. And I had briefly met him, but he didn’t know me by name. So, I show up and find out I’ve been assigned a, uh, student who drives a Fiat 500.

And, for those unfamiliar with Fiat 500 driving, they like to have the coach drive the car for the first two laps. That wasn’t happening. That just wasn’t happening. The other thing I will say is, fortunately, Roebling Road is mostly right hand turns. Because at that point, I was ballast, and I was sitting in the car with my helmet on, reclined, with my head cocked to the side.

And Auer did not see me get in the car. Auer saw me get out of the car and his jaw just kind of dropped. And he’s like, I’m sorry.

Uh, obviously there’s my, my one 35 [00:47:00] I convertible stories from Germany. And I’ve shared a link to one of the photos from my time in that we were airborne on the Nürburgring with my head above the windshield, the convertible top down going into a braking zone, into a corner. With no helmet by the way. With no helmet.

No helmets required over there. I didn’t pass a broomstick test without a helmet, so it doesn’t matter. And if you look really closely in that picture, you actually will see that there’s someone in the passenger seat curled up almost in the fetal position, scared for his life. And then way back, there was also a time I had to instruct in a Honda Prelude.

And that was one of those, I’m basically lying down in the passenger seat to instruct this car. And the problem is, like, a lot of cars, if you recline, you get more headroom. But in a Prelude, the roof starts to come down so quick, that as I’m reclining, the roof is going down faster than my head. So I’m reclined, and then I have to scoot down and bunch up my legs at the front.

To even, and the, the [00:48:00] chief instructor just happened of that event, just happened to walk by and he looked in the car and just shook his head and walked away. All right. And Brian, do you have any, uh, any, any amusing stories for us? I have two short ones. So I was probably, I want to say like 24 or so, and my buddy Jason comes to my house, and he picks me up in his dad’s Miata, and, um, I look at him, and Jason’s probably, yeah, he, he’s like 5’9 5’10 and he looks at me, and he looks at the car, and he goes, bad choice, and I said, no, we can make it work.

We can, we’ll make it work. So the top goes down, right? And he goes, yeah. And I’m like, oh, well, let’s try it with the top up first. So I managed to get in, obviously my head’s plastered the top of the Miata, the soft top, and we’re riding down the road, and every bump I hit, I feel like I’m just in a rubber band.

I’m just going up and down constantly in this state of bouncy ball, basically in the seat. And I said, hey man, pull over, let’s, let’s put the top down. So we put the top down and like I readjusted to [00:49:00] get more comfortable, obviously I have more headroom now. We’re riding down the road and I remember my, my eyes were level with the top of the windshield.

So I really couldn’t see anything unless I’m like looking around. And I felt something hit my face. And I was like, what the hell was that? And it was, it was a rock hit the top of my forehead. So like, I looked at him and I’m like, Hey, am I, am I bleeding? And he’s like, no, why? And I was like, I’m getting pelted with stones over here, can we put the top back down?

And he’s like, yeah, we’ll put it down when we stop, it’s just right up the road. I’m like, alright, whatever. So I like duck down behind the windshield. We get to where we’re going, we have a good time. I think we were at a cookout at a friend’s house we hadn’t seen in a while. We, uh, we’re getting ready to go home.

And the top gets stuck. We couldn’t get it up. miata, it’s his dad’s car, I’m looking at him. He’s looking at me, I’m like, whatever, let’s go. Starts raining. On our way home, so we’re driving home in the rain. My head’s above the windshield. I [00:50:00] feel like I’m getting stung by bees. Man, I get home, my hair was greasy and oily.

It was like, I don’t know, I washed my hair like five or six times and there’s still shit coming out of it. So that was the one big guy small car in a Miata. And the other one is me and my buddy Jeff went to the auto show down in the Baltimore Convention Center, and this was about 2008. And we’re walking around, and I’m like, What in the hell is that?

It looks like a baby viper. Just this tiny little baby viper. Get up to and it was the Dodge Demon concept at the time. And it was this two door little coupe and little roadster looking car. It was almost like a Z3 at the time. And I’m like, I gotta get in this thing. So. I open the door and I get in and I adjust everything I’m looking at and he’s looking at me and I’m like yeah man and I’m like looking around looking at all the interior stuff and I look over and he’s gone my buddy Jeff had wandered off you know how we are kids in a candy shop in a car show we’re just kind of like oh what’s that [00:51:00] squirrel what’s that anyway I look over he’s gone and I go to get out and I cannot get out of this car and at this point my you know I’m starting to get I’m getting embarrassed because I literally could not get out.

I’d go to sit up, my knees were under the steering wheel. I couldn’t lift my legs to, to like really swing them out because the steering wheel, I really don’t know how I got in the car, to be honest with you. Yeah, it was about five minutes later and one of the, uh, I guess one of the show girls walked by with the little pamphlet things and I was like, Hey, can you go get that guy over there with the backpack on?

And she’s like, that one. And I’m like, yeah, she goes over there and tassels the shoulder. He comes over and takes a picture of me stuck in this car. And then he proceeds to help me out at this point. I’m like, I want to go home. I’m done with this auto show. I was just embarrassed, but yeah, those are my, the two bad stories that I’ve had for, for big guy in tiny cars.

All right, we’ll go over to Andrew because I have a feeling Gordon’s got something really special for us. So we’ll [00:52:00] save him for last. No pressure. I spent a summer working at CarMax. I had a fun test drive with Brad the first time I met him. That was three big guys in a Mustang, but that there was plenty of instances of having cars like an S2000.

Uh, what else there’s something else like I remember having to actually when we’re taking the cars off the lot for a test drive I’d have to go inside and get my manager or get another salesman to pull it off the lot. You And hand the keys over to my customer because I couldn’t really drive the car.

It’s like, okay, that’s small. But another rental car story I was I my wife’s daily driver got dinged up and It was going in the body shop and I had to rent a car and I called my one of my friends who worked for enterprise And just said hey, man, what are they going to give me for 30 a day? And he’s walking me through he’s like listen, they always have a quad cab pickup on the lot They never rent it out.

They would be happy to give it to you But but you can’t just ask for it because it costs more money, right? You So I get picked up from the, the auto body dealer by this nice young lady from enterprise and she’s five, five foot tall and we’re, she’s driving some kind of Nissan. I don’t even know what it is [00:53:00] because it was so small.

I don’t know if they put a name badge on it, but he told me, he said, listen, when she comes to pick you up. Don’t get comfortable in the car like kind of make it obvious that you’re a big dude And I put I put the seat all the way back. My knees were still touching the dash I had my work bag up in my lap and we’re halfway there and she looks over and she’s like you don’t look very Comfortable in this car.

I’m like, I guess i’m not you know, and and she’s like, okay It’s like do you want me to look and see if we have something bigger for you back at the office? I’m like, yeah Yeah, if you can that’d be nice and sure enough I had like a month’s rental on on a dodge ram quad cab, which was which was great But to get that little that little hookup from my friend was helpful So take take take advantage of your of your big guy in a small car status every once in a while So i’ve related to that.

I was at And, uh, in Tampa for work in like 2002. So first we had to return our Pontiac Sunfire cause the car just blew up. I was driving a coworker back to the airport and the car just went haywire and was RPMs range was going all over the place. Transmission wouldn’t go into gear, went to the airport.[00:54:00]

Not surprised. I walk up to, I walk up to the counter. I’m on TUI with three other people. So, and we were dropping one off, so there’s still gonna be three of us left to come back to the airport later. So I’m returning the Sunfire and she goes, well, we have a Mitsubishi Mirage, and then looks up and goes, I have a Mitsubishi Lancer that I’m going to put you in.

You know, sometimes, sometimes just the look you give, I’m just staring at her like, are you, are you kidding me? And she, she instantly got the clue. And uh, fortunately I didn’t have to try and put on my, uh, another left shoe. If you’ll help me upload these at some point, there’s a picture of me in the Cadillac pulling it off the trailer and I forgot to release the tie down straps.

And just at the point where the Cadillac went off the back of the trailer, the straps went tight, car wouldn’t go back, car wouldn’t go forward. Gordon couldn’t open the door. It’s a 95 degree day and I lost my shit. I [00:55:00] mean, I, I think I’m a pretty composed guy. I was freaking the F out. I’m sweating. I’m like, Oh my God.

Oh my God. Then I realized just turn on the air conditioner. Okay. Just get okay. So, but how am I going to get out of the car? So I climbed out the passenger window. Then my wife had the bright idea to film me getting back in the car. Cause then I got to get off the damn trailer. So I cut the straps when I get it back in.

So I’m doing the inchworm in through the driver’s side window. I climb in and my big fat ass disappears in. My head goes down into the passenger foot well. I got to turn myself around. There’s a great video of this. So y’all need to see that at some point. It’s the scene where Jim Carrey comes out of the back of the hippopotamus in Ace Ventura.

Beautiful. It’s played backwards.

What I do have is me and Crutch riding in cars. So me and Crutch riding in his bug. And we got lots of looks from people in the paddock and [00:56:00] me and Crutch riding in the Cadillac. Which was decidedly different because one has about 12 times more horsepower than the other two guys in a small ish car The bug was just funny But my story is again a rental story the wife working for corporate america went up to the west coast And we’re in san francisco going to to monterey And so I rented a jaguar f type r From Hertz Gold Club member got a banging deal and, and I actually kind of, sort of fit in the car.

So we’re driving south on a Saturday and we decided to stop at Pebble Beach and have lunch, go to get outta the car, and I dislocate my right hip. It took three guys our size to get me out of the vehicle. Holy shit. To load me on a stretcher to take me to the hospital. To relocate my hip. So be careful what you ask for I mean, dude, you can’t believe the pain.

I couldn’t feel my feet I I mean just like oh my god, and it’s just I think it’s probably a prior orthopedic injury from football I don’t know, [00:57:00] but just suddenly I wanted to get out something went up and it’s like Oh, F me. This is not good. And so, yeah, the car went back to the dealer and I think we drove a, we drove a, uh, a Saab something or other the rest of the time.

Not an F Type R. So you played football back in 77 at NC State? Shut up, asshole. I played football at some point in time. Not well. Um, that’s why I work for a living now. Size doesn’t buy you anything apparently other than bad joints. It just costs you more Yeah, oh dude. It’s so y’all don’t i’m 60 actually 61.

I’m the oldest guy in the room And shit does break i’m just telling you your shit is going to go bad at some point and it’s not going to be fun Just saying that’s why I drink heavily get over But there is a vehicle I discovered that we may want to discuss that I think will will satisfy All of your big guy needs and give you performance and everything like that.[00:58:00]

I recently discovered this vehicle It is a it is a domestic. It was built from 2006 to uh, 2011 But think it is a performance vehicle. You can get it with that turbocharged four cylinder making close to 300 horsepower I mean, that’s an ultimate track weapon right there. You betcha. It’s known as the uh, chevy hhr.

Have you guys heard of that? Oh, yeah Ugliest pickup that ever existed I think jason’s camera says it all right there No, the the h the ssr is the pickup The HHR was the one that looks like an old box van, panel van. It’s a PT Cruiser. It’s a rip off of a PT Cruiser, which is a horrible thing to be.

There’s only one HHR that’s worth looking at photos of. And that’s the one that blew No, it blew up. Because the guy inside it used too much Axe body spray before lighting a cigarette. And it actually happened in Maryland. LAUGHS [00:59:00] Only good HHR. Oh my god. Yeah, it’s, uh, it’s, it’s a, it’s a difficult time to be a guy in cars because everybody’s building more efficient.

You know, I, I look at all these econo boxes that are out and most of that shit’s not engineered for guys like us. Fortunately, there’s still people building bigger cars. But being an enthusiast, it is, I think, more challenging going forward finding things, unless you’re going to go a couple years back and reengineer stuff to your specification, we’re not going to find stuff off the floor that’s going to really meet our needs anymore.

Well, I mean, with, with the current trending and badge engineering, the civic will now place its badge on the back of the Honda pilot because it’s getting bigger every year. So currently it’s on the accord. It’s okay. But nobody wants to track an SUV. I have, I have one more question I want to pose you guys real quick.

I just, I think it’s an interesting one. But [01:00:00] if you could ask automakers today to make one concession for the large guy, What would it be? I would say leg room. Give me two inches, three inches extra in any vehicle. There’s probably 90 percent more cars that I could consider owning. More vertical variation in seat height because like Volkswagen has the, has those pump up seats.

And if it could just go down a little bit more, a lot of them would be a lot more comfortable for, for people with longer torsos. But you know, they want to put 500 pounds of seat heaters and, and stereo equipment under the seat for some reason. So mine’s kind of weird. I can’t stand how they take a lot of the seats and like up around the shoulders, how they wrap them around and bring them more towards the steering wheel.

Like I feel like in a lot of cars, I’m like constantly hunched over and like, yeah, it’s just, it’s constantly uncomfortable. Like I want a car that drives like a bat out of hell, but doesn’t have those like shoulders pushed forward. I think those are the kind of the dimensional challenges I was gonna add that as a big guy.

We sweat. I miss the old feature from my old Thunderbird. The air conditioning vent, I’m just gonna say it’s right directly [01:01:00] below the steering column, all right? That used to be a thing on cars. A lot of Fords had it. The ball sweat cooler. The ball chiller was amazing. So I’m just gonna say like, I don’t think it would take much, but every car I get in, it’s a hot day.

I’d like, I flashed back to being 16 years old and be like, this is the greatest part of my car. They just need to supercharge the seat cooler. Yeah. It’s yes. Cause I will say something like the navigators and stuff have cooling seats. At least they, they did. I don’t know if they still do. I think some of the luxury cars have cooling seats where they’re not just heated, but they also have like air conditioning pumping through the, through the seats preparations.

I mean, if any day, everybody’s already got the things aside from the ball chiller, I didn’t even think about that. But, uh, yeah, what you were saying with the Navigator, the cool seats, the Jeep, Eric, I don’t know if yours has cool seats. Mine has cool seats, but when I drive the Jetta, yeah, the ball chiller would be great.

I understand the wraparound part with the shoulders, because I have wide shoulders as well. Definitely more leg room for anybody. If the seat could go back, you know, even like an inch and a half, it’d just be better. [01:02:00] And then the height variation, of course, it’s just a play on everybody’s. If it were all together, I think big guys would be two inches happier.

I believe Chrysler calls that the pro chiller, but Jason brought up a really good point. A car that goes bad out of hell, has room for a big guy, and all that kind of thing. There is actually one car I can think of that checks all those boxes. The car I’m thinking of is actually the Challenger Hellcat.

700 horsepower with tons of space built for bigger guys and it looks good. It sounds good It comes in a manual does all the right things I mean if this was an episode of what should I buy? I would be advocating for that car for you guys 110 percent unless you want to take it to the track I drove one of those this afternoon patient of mine as a neurosurgeon had one Brought it to the office today and I had some time So we took it and went around some of the roads near the office And i’ve worked with the guy at poking it with one You I am absolutely astounded by how good that car is.

It is large, you know, it’s [01:03:00] 34 or 4300 pounds. It’s a big car But they’ve really got that car dialed in and what you what you look at that car If you open the hood on that what you see is an engine A clean installation. What you see in the Cadillac is what a bunch of crack smoking Detroit engineers came up with on a Friday night.

I mean, Chrysler has this stuff figured out. That car is spectacular. The Hellcat Redeye, 797 horsepower. It’s a demon minus 0. 01 for a shit ton less money. That is a banging automobile. And I like the challenger. I like the original ones, like the new ones. So I’ll just add this. I’ve driven an original SRT8 on track at NCM.

I thought it was fantastic. I wasn’t really a fan of the truck interior that it had, but once, you know, that was a Mercedes thing. Everything looked like it was a pickup truck. Um, But once Fiat got their hands on it, they’ve really made it a great place to live inside. I have gotten the opportunity to drive a brand new Hellcat.

I will say it’s an exercise in patience because it’s [01:04:00] big horsepower, but it was really rewarding. The Magneto suspension was fantastic. The car was really on point compared to a regular challenger. They really got that car sorted out. I can’t imagine what the demon is like with a thousand horsepower and all that.

I mean, it was, it was a. It was a lot of work to keep the Hellcat under control. And again, it’s an exercise in patience, but it was very rewarding at the end of the day. Yeah, I would sell everything. The demons not designed to go around corners. I mean, that’s a straight line car. The Hellcat and the Red Eye are both cars that could be adapted to the track.

And there are guys that are actually doing that. I mean, there’s a bunch of guys that have modified those cars. You know, much like what guys have done with the, I mean, the ZL1 Camaro. I think spectacular car. All of these cars with high horsepower. If you take a little bit of time and take what the factory gave you and massage it a little bit.

You’ve got a pretty damn capable track car. And I mean, I could go cheap too and go for a 392 at the scat pack. I mean, it’s perfectly fine. 500 will work. [01:05:00] Yeah. When I had that Challenger, I had an Alpharetta Georgia. It was just the six cylinder, you know, the base model Challenger. I was going to say I fit really comfortably in that car.

In and out was easy. The features on the inside, like you were saying, I’m just used to those features because the Jeep and it’s easy for me to transition from the Jeep into the Challenger because it’s basically the same layout on the dash. It’s just a, you know, misplacement of a few things here and there.

But from a familiarity standpoint, that thing, you know, that that would be a good car for me. I liked it. Guys at the track, you know, we talk about their Miatas, and their yearly consumable budget is my weekend consumable budget. What the hell? It’s not, it’s not fair. We need 50 tires for the big cars. We need like an Exocet.

Challenger to get rid of all the weight or just take like a mini Cooper Clubman and just rip the front seat out and drive from the back, right? Like, And then put an LS way and pedal extender. Yeah, [01:06:00] yeah, you get long pedal extenders. So I guess the answer for regular people is Miata always. And the answer for big guys is always hellcat.

I think that’s what we’ve stumbled upon Oh my gosh

That was our special moment we were to share that What happens in cadzilla stays in cadzilla. There you go, baby. This is awesome. Thanks for having me on everybody. This is Very good. And if any thank you all Yeah, and if any of you guys want to be on in a future episode, don’t hesitate to reach out. We got a list of different topics we’re going to cover and, and we’ll definitely share that with you guys.

So don’t hesitate, especially to jump on some of the, what should I buy episodes? Those are always a lot of fun and you can throw something out there and just let the piranhas chomp on it for a while. So looking forward to that. Well, thank you all for being on. We really appreciate it. And as Eric said, we would love to have you back for another episode.

Uh, and uh, yeah, I guess that’s it. Peace. Peace.[01:07:00]

If you like what you’ve heard and want to learn more about GTM, be sure to check us out on www. gtmotorsports. org. You can also find us on Instagram at GrandTouring Motorsports. Also, if you want to get involved or have suggestions for future shows, you can call or text us at 202 630 1770 or send us an email at crewchief at gtmotorsports.

org. We’d love to hear from you. Hey listeners, Crew Chief Eric here. Do you like what you’ve seen, heard, and read? from GTM? Great, so do we, and we have a lot of fun doing it. But please remember, we’re fueled by volunteers and remain a no annual fee organization. But we still need help to keep the momentum going so that we can continue to record, write, edit, and broadcast all of your favorite content.

So be sure to visit www. patreon. com forward slash GT Motorsports or visit our website and click in the top right corner on the support and donate to learn how you can [01:08:00] help.